Jaleel seemed like a great guy. He was charming, funny and very ambitious. Everything was going great until the day I heard him talking to his mother on the phone.
He was being so rude and short with her, that I couldn't believe he was actually talking to his mother. I was a little startled, but I wasn't sure exactly how to perceive this glimpse into another side of him.
For the rest of the time I knew him, it was clear that Jaleel was a selfish, immature person that, if provoked, treated people the same way he treated his own mother; especially other women.
I was lucky that I was able to learn from what I saw and face reality for what it was. Other women may not be so lucky. I've learned over the years from this experience, and many others like it, that how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he will treat his wife.
If the man you are thinking about marrying is caring, nurturing and attentive to his mother, you can be pretty positive that he will be so towards yourself as well. It's the same the other way around. Men who are dismissive and show little respect to the women who raised them, can show you a glimpse into your own possible future.
The question here is how to gauge these reactions. It could possibly be that the one day you catch him being rude, he could be having a bad day, or he has a legitimate reason to be upset. Possibly, the mother may be being demanding or impossible.
These are things to consider, but in the end, I've found that the way a man treats and deals with an upsetting situation is also a good indicator of what kind of temperament he has. In other words, a man who is calm and understanding will likely be so when he is dealing with you as well.
Not to be left out, men can also gauge how women will treat them by the way that their potential wife treats her own father. In my personal experience, however, I have seen this to be a less prevalent indicator than with men. For whatever reason, men seem to treat many of the women in their lives much the same way, as opposed to women.
For men, it is important that a woman see that you have a loving, caring relationship with your own mother, one where you are open and honest, yet know the boundaries as well. If, for some reason, there is a strained relationship, you should at least try to keep a respectful and civil channel of communication open.
Many more women have been able to glimpse into their own futures by a simple phone call or listening to an interaction between a man and his mother--This is something to be mindful about.
Think about it: would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who treats their parents in a way you find disrespectful? Would you be willing to take a chance with a person whom you know does not treat the woman who raised them with patience and civility?
For many women, this could be just another possible aspect of a man's personality that could be dealt with. For others, this could be a deal breaker. I highly suggest that you at least are aware of how this man, whom you could possibly spend the rest of your life with, treats his mother. It could save you a lot of grief, or it could simply reaffirm that this is the man for you.